Monthly Archives: November 2014

Keep Me Alive


I miss you.

It’s wrong that you’re not here.

Too many things remind me of you, make me think of you.

A voice, a face.

Sirens, a song.

I see you with me everywhere. Me with you.

It could make me cry, but I am trying to be strong.

Trying to make sense of it all.

Trying to live without you.

How invincible I will be when I have learned to be happy without you.

I will have achieved the impossible.

But still, I will never be happy with anyone else.

I will never want anyone else.

And how could I?

You are my everything and all I ever wanted.

I couldn’t simply give my heart to someone new.

In the back of my mind, I seem to still believe that if I am only patient enough,

if I wait long enough,

you will be my reward.

How easily I fool myself into believing that.

But it’s what keeps me alive.

NaNoWriMo Update – I Quit


I tweeted about quitting this year’s NaNoWriMo, and it’s true.

I quit. I really didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be one of those people. But I figure continuing would make me more stupid than how stupid I look by quitting now.

Truth is, I have too little time, creativity, and motivation. I need to fix my priorities. I love writing, but there’s no room for it in my life right now. At least, not something as big as a novel. I’m sad about this — and many things. Heartbroken really.

I am not okay, but I will be. Thank you so much for all you people’s support. 🙂


NaNoWriMo Update II And Reacting to Death



Well, week two is as good as over. Things are rather crazy and I am two days behind; but I have decided to write every day and not worry too much about word counts. I have a lot going on with school, so I am very busy – almost too busy – and focusing on writing has been hard.

An issue or question has come up. I am not good at writing my characters when they are reacting to death. They are in urgent situations and have little time to break down and cry for three days, but I find it hard to find a balance between grief and responsibility. If you know what I mean… That is, I wonder whether my characters’ reaction to the death of a loved one, for example, is believable.

Do you have any thoughts on this? Please share in the comments! It’d help a lot. How’s your month coming along?

I CAN’T. NOT YET – A Riddle



I can do many things.

I can see you.

Grin at your messy hair.

Deeply wish that you will be happy today.

Hear your voice.

Listen to you speak.

Laugh at your jokes.

Giggle when you’re silly.

Fidget during silence.

Enjoy your sweet smile.

Memorize your face.

Let my mind take pictures of the way you say things so I can remember them when I’m alone in bed at night.

Tell you things I wouldn’t tell anyone else.

Ask for your secrets.


What I can’t do is less.

But it feels like more.

I cannot sit next to you.

Lean my head against your shoulder.

Wrap my arms around your neck. Really hard.

Look into your eyes at the same time you are looking into mine.

Not yet.

NaNoWriMo Update I



How’s everyone’s November going? As some of you may remember, I am a NaNoWriMo participant. I was very nervous about this year, since I have a whole lot of life next to writing; and my motivation has had highs and lows of late.

My stats are moderate. I am a bit behind, but I have (high) hopes to catch up today.

The story (read about it HERE) is coming along all right. I skipped a scene with the intention of coming back to it, otherwise I try to write linear. Somehow, I wasn’t sure what to put in that scene, and it seemed a bit bland. Most scenes are shorter than expected. I am currently working on my fourteenth scene.

That’s my update. Must keep writing now — erm, and you know, class and stuff.